I'm Baaaaaack

So, got home from Disney/ California Yesterday afternoon. I figured I should update this with my adventures/travels. Unfortunately I woke up this morning with one thought on my mind "I'm gonna throw up".
I didn't. But I still FEEL like it, and it's quite uncomfortable. My stomach is all bubbly.

I'll start with the Drive home. It sucked.
But I'm not a fan of driving. I don't have much experience and I'm not good at it.
I drove from Fresno to St. George the first day, and made pretty good time...I think it was about 8 hours? But I didn't really keep track. The hard part was staying awake. I get bored and daze off.
But, I made it, and stopped and a run down motel in St. George...run by a guy who didn't speak English. He was nice enough, it was just hard to figure out what he was saying. The rooms weren't all that bad considering I only paid 50 bucks for a night, and they had waffles for breakfast, so I can't complain.
I left at about 10 the next morning. It was raining lightly. That lasted all of ten miles. Then I hit a whiteout.
I hate snow.
I had to drive the whole way back to SLC at between 30-40 mph depending on how bad the roads were/visibility.
At one point, I tried to change lanes due to a truck constantly trying to rear end me.
The road turned out to not like that idea, and somehow launched my car FORWARD as I crossed the lines. I was terrified but I somehow managed to get the car off the road and not hit anyone.
Unless you count the snow bank as a person. But I don't. Because I hate snow.
I'm really lucky and glad I'm not hurt and the car wasn't damaged. I was even able to maneuver out of it with 4wd.

So, really lucky and grateful I made it home.

But MAN is it snowy here...There's about 2 feet in the parking lots where they havent' plowed...1 foot where they have.

Not sure where to start with Disneyland. It was definitely a lot of fun, also very crowded.
It's nice to spend time with my family. Even if we don't talk much or about anything significant it just feels good to hang out with them.
It was also nice to go back to Disney the first night with just Dean and hang out. And get ice cream.

Disney was fun and all, but I really just enjoyed hanging out with the family. I'm glad I get to see them again during Christmas.

FLYING

I am in the air right now. Free wireless on the airplane. Go figure.

So, off to visit family in California for fourish days. Disneyland for two of those I believe. YAY. Excited.

I really am excited, not just for Disney, but for spending time with family. I really miss them. especially Dean. I wish we still lived together so we could hang out more.

I may have just stalked the girl sitting in the seat in front of me. My vision is not what it used to be, but I'm sly enough to lean forward and steal her name off her facebook homepage. I sent her a message saying "I hope this doesn't seem creepy, but I'm bored, How's the flight?" she smiled and waved. I feel accomplished.

Not much has been going on. Trying to stay caught up in school and dealing with these stupid assignments and gradings I've had in class lately. Speaking off, I'm going to have a lot to do once I get back home.

And how am I getting home you ask? Why, I'm driving...My new car! 2003 Chevy Tracker I'm buying off my Mom.
Terrified to drive it that long, as there's a good chance I'll fall asleep at the wheel and die, but if I make it home then I'm +1 vehicle.

I wish I was good at freehand drawing. Or any drawing for that matter. I'd like to just...I dunno. sketch stuff. People. things. then just give them to random people. or animals.

Can you tell I only got 3 hours of sleep?

She's not replying to my message. ha. Guess she's not as bored as me.

Although having the swamptrooper as my profile pic MAY scare off people...Its...nerdy and strange.

Complimentary biscotti and juice!!! my favorite part of a flight.
Besides the landing. I like landing. Makes me feel like I'm not going to experience two minutes of terror as I plummet to my death.

Mmmm. that's good biscotti.

And now my profile pic is of Dean and I. Yay. I need to get some more pictures with him this week.

Net died there for a few minutes. Worried I'd lose all I typed.

Also, airplane girl wrote me back. Yay. hahah.

Apparently there's a blizzard warning in Utah for today. Glad I got out of there before it hit, I'd hate to get stuck at the airport. And here's to hoping the snow's gone when I get back!

I need to get Lauren famous. For some reason, two people who have contacted her/me about her, stopped replying when they saw her videos....I KNOW she's a great singer....I can't fathom why they didn't reply, but its their loss. I just want to get her a band and get her recording...But I need a band...and recording equipment. Or studio time...but I hate studios.

Urk...every time there's turbulence, my stomach clenches and waits for the fall.....and there's a lot of turbulence.

Hm, really slow net. Can't complain cus its free airplane net, but Cant' even load a youtube.

Did I ever write about the Harry Potter Party? i don't think I did.

Umm. Long story short...It ended...badly. Well, it WOULDVE been really great, but no one showed up....I feel bad. They lost a lot of money with it. And time.
And I knew that some people *I* personally know were going to be there but...they never showed.

But I did get Dungeon Crawlers Radio there, and got to hang out and talk with them. I like those guys a lot, so that was quite enjoyable.


I'm flying. and On the internet. Sometimes I never quite process what a world we live in.

Okay. I'm bored of rambling.
Provided I land, I'll be seeing you all soon. And If I DON'T land so much as crash...well, I'll be haunting quite a few of you.

This is merely a test.

When is it time?

When are you supposed to give up on love?
When do you throw in the towel?
Is it when she finds someone else? Engagement? Marriage?

Movies always romanticize it.
True love will stop her from getting on the plane,
from saying "I do".

But is that how real life works?
Is that what life wants?

Does it not show dedication to that love when you pursue it?
Or does it just make them uncomfortable and pity you?

If so, then what do you do?
Merely give up and accept it?

But if you loved a love so strongly,
is it in any way fair to give up on it so easily?
You put so much into love,
to just quit on it like that?
It would be like a painter burning his masterpiece a day before its completion.

So, no, I do not believe love should be given up on. No matter what the critics say of his painting,
no matter how they scoff and scorn,
mock and ridicule,
harass and degrade,
he must NEVER give up.
For if he does, he robs not only himself,
but the world
of one of the most beautiful things to behold.

This is Sparta

Been a decent last few days. Kinda had its ups and downs, but such is life.
I've got some good work done on Chewie's face...Gonna need some major grooming, but its progress, right?

Trying to figure out insurance right now so I can see if I can afford to buy a car. Well, I can, but afford to keep it legal. Didn't realize insurance would be a few hundred a month just for a basic package.

Drew Thomsen

Ah, I got to play D&D the other day with the DCR Crew. It was quite enjoyable, and a bit of a different experience, but I enjoyed it, and I'm glad they let me 'tag along'


I know there's been more that's been going on but I can't think at the moment. Hm.

Here's a pic I drew recently. Trying out this art style. I don't think I did it perfectly but I thought it turned out pretty well.

Take Pictures

When you are with someone you love, or if you even think there's a possiblity of Love.....Take pictures.
Don't put it off. Take as many pictures as you want memories to keep.

I'm not saying go splay them all over facebook. Because if that person means something to you, its not about showing them off to your friends.

But a picture for yourself, to have and hold, to look at and remind you....is a wonderful gift.

I wish I had taken pictures. ANY pictures....I have NOTHING....and it eats at me. I beat myself up over it....I was so naive and stupid.

So, don't make the same mistake. Take some time to snap a photo or two when you're together, and as you later look at that picture, think back to the day...how they made you laugh, how their eyes lit up when they smiled. Let the picture give you as much joy as it can.
Because even if the relationship sours and goes bad, there will always come a time when you wish to take a few moments and look back and just....remember.

I hate Clamps

Hmmm...So I need to start keeping track of my school schedule. For example, it'd be nice to know there is a test that day sooner then when I walk into class.
Still the first one done in the class...I think they thought it's cus I'm smart...no, it's just cus I give up quickly. Heheh. The professor asked me how it was, I said it was harder than the last one. He asked me how much I prepared....I said 'just as much as I did last test'. Which sadly is true.

anyway. I decided to go get a jamba to cheer myself up.
Pumpkin spice was a bad idea. I thought maybe it'd be good cus I know some of my friends love them....yeah, its like frapped pumpkin pie, and not in a tasty way. Blech. But...I'm going to eat it all. Because it cost a lot.

http://www.theswain.com/Flash/Episode10.htm Rediscovering blockhead. Because I love this episode.

Going to visit my family over thanksgiving break. Excited....and, I get to drive the car home!!! and...that...terrifies me.
I fall asleep when I drive.  And its a...15 hour drive?
Yep. I'm gonna die.

I miss my hat from Robber Bridegroom. I don't know why. But I want it back....

I am Bulletproof!!

I really love the sound bytes from TF2. All of the characters, voices, phrases they've created always make me smile.

My thoughts and love goes out to my family...I know they are having a tough time right now, and I'm sorry I can't be with them.

So, far as my memory serves, not a whole lot noteworthy has gone on since my last post.

Lauren and I went out troubadouring....Thursday? night. Which basically meant we went to trolley square and she played guitar for an hour, then we got bored/hungry, went to Taco Bell, consumed some delicious burritos, and decided we were going to stalk "All time low". Some sort of band that she knew and incidentally briefly met earlier that day.
Our intention was to sticky note their tour bus when they left, so we waited a couple hours for them to leave, watching all the teenagers who were intent on seducing the bandmembers ((seriously, some brought sluttier clothes and changed into them, then waited outside for the band)). Buuuuut....far as we can tell, the band never came out of the RV.
Lauren and I had been ratted out by **** ((name hidden to protect the innocent...cept they weren't so innocent. cus they ratted us out. Jerk.)). So we had waited forever for nothing.....but it was still fun.

 Yesterday was the exterior film shoot for the KOTOR fan film im in. It was...quite the day. hahah. From about 9-6 we were filming, and I'm feeling it today. Really drained and tired. Here's to hoping that it turns out well in post production and all that and that the finished product is awesome.

I really am tired today. I find myself devoid of energy.
And I really don't think much more has happened since then so....

The Howl

Guess where I was last night?

Yep. The Howl.

For those who don't know, its Logan/Utah States big halloween party. Huge shindig. Lotta people.
I drove up with Lauren with the intention of visiting Devin while she met up with a friend and went to the Howl to watch the bands.

That didn't happen. Said friend's car got totaled, so he never made it. Devin and I couldn't think of anything to do, so we stalked Lauren to the concert ((this was all after we made a pit stop at Village Inn, of course)).
After we followed her for a while, we got bored so went to say Hi. Then we all decided that the line was too long and the Howl wasn't worth it.

So,yadda yadda yadda, we end up on the third floor of the parking garage that faces the entrance to the stage where the bands are playing, and conveniently, where the tour buses are. We stalked the bands from above, and made fun of all the stupid people and costumes that entered and exited the building. It was a surprisingly large amount of fun.
Lauren also had giant sticky notes ((Im talking three feet by two feet)) so I drew some pictures with a sharpie and stuck them to the tour bus door, then watched everyone look at them quizzically, and the band actually ended up taking them in.
I count that as a win.
Lauren and I didn't get home til about 4 am....and neither of us remember driving home so....I guess its good we are safe.

I slept most of today, then ate candy and played video games for the rest of it. So, not a bad day all around.

-----------------
On a...more melancholy note..
If you don't wanna read this, I don't care...its more for me, to get my thoughts on paper.

I really miss her. I've lost track of how long its been...probably feels longer in my head.
I go through stages...I miss her, I worry about her, how she is, if she's alright....I get angry, indignant, furious...
I guess part of the problem is I don't know why she suddenly stopped talking to me...I know the last time we talked I was upset with her...did I offend her? Is that why? 
Did something happen to her? Did he make her stop?
I'm not sure if any answer I can conceive would actually bring me peace. Maybe it's better I don't know. Ignorance is bliss, after all. 
I just hope she is safe and....happy...I really do. If she is truly happy then I guess that's all that matters.