A full year later...

Waxing philosophical on the concept of the platitude "You deserve to be happy". I think everyone's had someone say that to them at some point...but does everyone really deserve to be happy? Theological views aside, what REASON is there that every person deserves to be happy? What qualifies that right? Is it just the fact that we are human, intelligent, capable of grasping the concept of happiness?

The best answer I've been able to come up with is this. You deserve to be as happy as you make others.
This balances out the universe. You deserve as much happiness as you put back into the world.

Of course, this doesn't address the fact that many who then SHOULD be much much happier often aren't.
So is this phrase just that? A phrase. Something people say to give others comfort because it requires no reasoning, no backing, no justification? It's a feel good, non obligation statement that can be thrown out without risk?

I'm just stuck on the concept of DO we really deserve to be happy?

This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow

Okay. So ever since I started packing/moving last thursday, I have felt so incredibly exhausted. I'm just constantly tired and dead on my feet and sleeping a lot. I moved for 8 hours friday, then Saturday I went to the Renassaince faire with friends. It was a lot of fun, but it was also on my feet in the sun for another 8 hours. On sunday, I helped Lauren move for 4-5 hours. And yesterday, I started both work and school.

Basically, I'm just moving and on my feet nonstop ever since thursday and I feel drained. So I haven't done much. Including write on here.

So, yeah.

Oh. I got some new computer things cus...Sales. And...I wanted to. So I now have 12 GBs of ram. ((excessive and pointless? maybe a bit. But i feel powerful)) and a secondary 2 TB harddrive.....I haven't actually put anything on it yet, as I'm still a bit worried some of my current harddrive has a virus, so I'm trying to run scans and find it...or prove it isn't there. hah.

I like this pic of me. haha.

The Ren. Faire was a lot of fun, go to go with my Star Wars friends, who also helped me dress appropriately. I always enjoy my time with them.
And now I want to get a good period costume...with leather. I like leather.

Do you see this hat?

So, just beat Crysis. Pretty good game...glitchy though. Maybe its just cus I got it through steam?

The graphics are obviously great, but....I just kept dying randomly....for example....when I'd walk into a tank. Instantly kills me. apparently, I can soak up bullets like a sponge, but any moving object is lethal. Like that locker that I pushed when I had super strength. It fell on me. and killed me. Even though I could hurl it 60 feet, if I tip it over on me, I'm a goner.

The big kicker was the last boss...who might I say was insanely difficult and tedious....I never actually beat it. On my 17th (yeah i was keeping track) try, the game loaded my last check point and all the sudden i start hearing "that did it, its going down" and "Defeat the war ship blah blah blah complete'. So....I glitched into beating the game. A cheap victory, but i was getting sick of running around trying to dodge freeze rays while collecting rocket launchers.

I'm kinda excited for my job to start...for one, it means a new place to live that'll hopefully be a tad bit roomier than my current accomadations. Second, Money. yay. Third, I need something to do.

I'm thinking I'm still going to take my two summer classes....really worried about my grades from this last semester. Dunno how my scholarship will fare....so here's hoping.

I wasn't even there!

So, a happy Mother's day to my lovely mother. She really is all I could ever want from a Mom. She's raised me very well, in my opinion, and Im super glad to have her and all she does for me.

In other news...the last three mornings, as soon as I roll out of bed, blood pours from my nose. It's not bleeding, but apparently it...'pooled' in my nose as I slept? I know that's gross, but it's really annoying cus my bedsheet, pillow case, and now three different sets of pajamas have huge blood stains on them.

Last night was fun. Considering it was 'move out' day, the dumpsters were FULL of good loot, so I went out and did some Urban Foraging. I found a huge beanbag(slight stains, just needs a cover), a nice office chair (stains, missing one of the five wheels, but still usable) Some cleaning supplies I needed, a car stereo....that looks brand new ((kinda worried that one was stolen then dumped cus they got scared, hahah)), a garbage can, a doormat, a small rug, some clothes I plan to make a mannequin out of, a brand new with tags Google laptop case, and a plastic folding chair.

So I went to bed early ((for me)) yesterday cus...well, I was tired after going around collecting and transporting all that stuff.

Do you want ants?! Cus this is how we'll get ants!

Had my last final yesterday....and my teacher already graded all 40 of the 40 free response tests....so props to her.

But yeah...I knew I did really bad on it. I didn't know most of the answers and had to leave a lot blank. So, not surprising, this was my worst test....but at least it gets dropped.

I did really good on another one of my finals, so that's good.

And of course, in the class that I'd been scoring 98-100 on the other tests, I scored a 70.

All in all, it looks like I'm going to end up with a B average in a lot of my classes....I just hope i keep my scholarship. I'm really worried honestly. But what can I do now but wait and see.

The Problem with Bots

So you know those spam bots that randomly add you on any messenger program and act like they are a long lost friend or saw you on the dating site you never joined?
I have this weird obsession of trying to get them to admit they are bots.

I know that doesn't make sense. I mean....its not like they are sentient. They are just preprogrammed with things to say. But I'll still just reply to everything they say with things like 'You are a bot", "you aren't fooling me", "just admit you are a bot" and then finally I try to break them by yelling "THIS SENTENCE IS FALSE".

I don't know what I'd do if a bot suddenly did start responding to me intelligently. Probably freak out.

May the Fourth be with you

So. Dentist trip is now over with....lot of fun, let me tell you.

I had to drive to Ogden for it cus...that's where my dentist is. And I hate driving. I get distracted/bored and Im not the best driver so I get nervous. PLUS....my car guzzles gas. A trip to Ogden and back runs me about 20 bucks nowadays.

Anyway, I made it there and back, and my cheek is still numb.
At first, I kinda like when its numb, its fun to poke and whatnot, feels all funny. But after about 20 minutes, it just makes me angry. I'm mad that I can't feel it but at the same time it hurts...somehow. So I've been trying to glare at my cheek((quite a feat, let me tell you)) but it's still numb.


Oh, and its May the Fourth be with you day, so...yay for Star Wars!!

Once I stop fighting with my cheek, I'm going to cram for my last final tomorrow and then I am DONE for the 'year'. Exciting!